A Dogged Dilemma
by animepotter
Summary: "Unffff. Lily Rose Evans, marry me. Marry me or I have to steal your cute little bum from Prongsie anyway. NO way am I giving up these hands of a Goddess. Now, a little to left, if you please... Merlin!"


_Animepotter here, back after a very long hiatus. Most of you who will receive an alert to this story, know me from my obscure stories, which have since been deleted. I'm never one to give up on a task once I commit to it. However, there's only so much a girl can do to try and reconcile the thought process of her avatar today with her giggly, fourteen year old 'love-and-chocolate-will conquer all' alter ego. I still believe the chocolate part, though love… its left me a little scarred._

_Point to this being, I gave up on those stories. Although conceptually I am not against a rose tinted happy ending, I finally reached that point when every girl realizes that, unfortunate as it may be, happy endings are not all that commonplace. I'm now aspiring for a little more… realism, in my writing._

_And nothings more real than our beloved Siri-poo, now is it?_

_Anyway, over long authors not over. If you're someone who has stumbled across this by chance, Welcome! And sorry about the rant. I just felt I owed an explanation to the people who would receive a notification from an author who doesn't have a single published story anymore._

_Ah well. Reaaaaally long authors note really over. Happy reading, and happy holidays. (The day I actually GET vacations over Christmas, I'll die a happy girl. I've had back-to-back finals over these holidays for five years now.)_

_Cheers,_

_Animepotter._

PS: Hold all your flames. double entendre-ed summary aside, this is not a Lily/Sirius romance coupling.

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_"__Unffff. Lily Evans, marry me. Marry me or I have to steal your cute little bum from Prongsie anyway. NO way am I giving up these hands of a Goddess. Now, a little to left, if you please… Merlin!"_

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"Merlin, Padfoot! Would you STOP buggering around!"

Sirius Black looked, to put it lightly, like a boy caught with his hand down the cookie jar. Torn between keeping up with the rest of the Marauders, and rubbing up against every branch or rough-looking tree he could find, he wasn't making the trip back to the castle an easy one. Especially for one Marauder in particular, who had a rough night as it is.

The large pale full moon had slowly sunk off in the west. It would be a while before the Sun showed her face, but the first rays were just starting to break the horizon, dispelling the deep dark blue of the night. It was at the start of this new day, that four disheveled looking boys made their way across the grounds of Hogwarts castle. One of them was more obviously leaning on the other two, while the fourth boy lingered behind, wand out for the first sign of trouble. But the trouble these three were having was not of the wizarding kind. It was Sirius Black, who insisted on rubbing his skin raw, every chance he got.

"Dammit Pad, if you stop again-" James Potter's terse voice cut through the chilly morning. They were approaching the outskirts of the forest, and once again, Sirius looked like he was in pure heaven as he rubbed his back against a very rough tree.

"Mmm… I'm bloody sorry, but it's the fleas! The stupid dog picks up enough fleas for a lifetime, each full moon! It's got me completely knackered. " Sirius offered an apologetic look, to which Remus Lupin could only return a wan smile, "S-o-kay" he coughed out, voice hoarse from the previous night, "Me-too."

"Yes, " James countered, "They're on all of us, but we don't stop every thirty seconds now do we?" he scratched himself a little, apparently understanding Sirius' plight "We need to get back mate, before Frank or someone goes into the dorm and notices it empty."

"All right, all right" Sirius conceded, " But I can't help if all the fleas think my blood is the tastiest. But then again, who can blame them.. I AM the best looking bloke here!" even while scratching himself into oblivion, his trademark smirk was still disarmingly charming.

"Yeah, Yeah, you old ham" Peter Pettigrew countered with a small smile, "Scoot over, I'll take Moony. Have fun in scratch-land!"

"Ahh Taily, you're the best!" he visibly scampered off, looking for a branch, as Peter took over. "Taily?"

"Was bored of Wormy… and come on, Taily sounds cute, the birds'll love it."

"Sirius and his birds notwithstanding" Remus coughed again, "You… transfiguration assignment for second lecture!"

"Bugger, bugger, bugger!" James exclaimed. They were almost at the end of the Forest, "That blasted assignment! Ten inches on switching spells… I couldn't get beyond 'Switching spells are used to switch objects.' I mean, how do you describe a switching spell in detail!" he looked at Sirius who was quietly laughing to himself, "What so funny, then?"

"Sorry mate, it's just" he turned to Remus, " Moony, you are possibly the only person I know, who can use a word like 'notwithstanding', right after a transformation! Regular Lily Evans, this one" He slapped him on the back, but apologized profusely as Remus doubled over.

"Careful Paddy" Peter returned, "Now that you mentioned 'the L-word', you just might send this one to the brink again" he not-so-surreptitiously jabbed at James, "All it takes is one mention of Lovely Lily, to get him started" he grinned.

James Potter at least had the courtesy to blush. "I don't know what you're talking about. That is entirely untrue." he huffed.

Remus, who had since recovered a bit, added "Ah, so last week you hadn't begged and bribed and blackmailed me to pretend to catch you as we neared one end of the castle, just so you could walk back with Lily?"

"And you haven't made a list of the different smiles she has, based on the occasion?" Peter cheekily grinned.

"And you don't snog your pillow in the middle of the night, going 'Oh Lily, My Lily!' Muuuaaahh?" Sirius had a twig down his back, and was rubbing against it much like a loofah, "And-"

"All right, all right, I get it!" James conceded, "I may be a little, err, forward, with my attentions, but I really can't help it, can I? it's just, we- well- every time I see her… this bubble grows inside me, and I'm so happy, and her hair, when she's in the Sun, it so fiery, and the way she _yells-_" James Potter stopped short suddenly. They were walking the edge of the Forest now, about to turn a bend toward Hagrid's Cottage."Oh Merlin's left ball-"

"Loverboy, we knew you felt that very, eloquently for Lily, But Merlin too?" Sirius laughed," Dead wizards, eh? Not creepy at all, that."

James Potter was still rooted to the spot, sputtering, and pointing to a dark shape in the distance,"l-L-Lily."

"And now he sees her everywhere" Peter grinned, "Relax, mate, she's asleep in the dorm"

"Oh hell" Remus seemed to be at full attention now, he held on to a tree for balance, "He means it IS Lily."

All the boys now looked keenly at the blob in the distance, and sure enough. Red hair. Petite. Muggle Clothes. Lily Evans. Right in front of the doors to the caste, Lily was, they couldn't believe it, stretching, Warm up? Lily Evans? Sirius rounded up on James.

"What the hell, James? How did you overlook this in your Stalker Manual? Did you know she comes out in the morning?" James Potter however, was too busy sputtering, to make any reply.

"It's fine, though, right?" Peter offered, "This has happened a few times before right? Invisibility cloak!"

"Yeah, yeah, why didn't I think of that?" Sirius said, "Well all just-"

"Padfoot," Remus staggered, "Four people. One cloak. Too small. Even if one person goes, Lily's too smart. She might see-" they looked down at themselves. The gashes on Remus' legs, the scratch mark on

James' arms, the little nicks and bruises here and there, would be a dead giveaway to someone like Lily Evans.

"What do we do then? We can't stay here forever!" James looked a little frantic now, as he stared, transfixed at Lily, "Madam Pomfrey's expecting you. We have that essay to write. And Lily is there-we're here-and-" he held his head in his hands.

"Oi, Romeo, relax" Sirius gripped James by the shoulders, "No one is freaking out. Now, we always had a back-up plan, if this ever happened. Prongsie, go over and show us your prodigious skill in scaring people with those shiny antlers of yours."

James looked up, like a man possessed, "Lily? Antlers? Hurt? NO! I can't do it." He went back into panic mode, leaving Sirius tutting silently. _Lily Evans will really be the death of Prongs' cool man. One second he's near her, he becomes this blithering sap._

"I'd go over and scare her for him," Peter offered, "But my animagus is a rat. And we all know, women aren't too fond of them. If she stamps on me," he made a slicing motion across his throat, "Adios, Marauders."

"And I have no transformation capabilities on days other than the full moon, good riddance," Remus sighed, "Me going over would open an unfortunate can of worms." After a moment of silence, James finally awoke from his panic attack, and fixed Sirius with a stare, "It's all on you, Pad."

"You go over, distract her, meanwhile we'll take Moony into the Castle." A ghost of a smile formed on Remus' face, "Lily isn't likely to notice a few hands and feet jutting out, when she's distracted by such a cute puppy now is she? "

"Well, I am cute" Sirius commented with a lopsided grin, "But, hey, No! It's Evans. She's all seeing. She's all knowing. She'll know it's me!" _Besides, I was planning to sneak into the Prefects bathroom and drown all these bloody fleas! _

"Don't worry," Remus added, "Lily may be pretty, but she's not Superman" he chuckled slightly at his own joke, but surrendered to a volley of coughs. By the time he got over it, three confused faces stared back at him. _Purebloods. _He shook his head "Never mind, Muggle joke. Meaning, she'll never tell it was you. Now go, so that I can finally get to the hospital wing. I'm fagged out."

"If I wasn't a Gryffindor, Id've..." Sirius mumbled, as he transformed into the big shaggy dog. The three boys looked down at the Grim looking dog, which had a very displeased look on his face.

"Oh come on Padfoot" James looked down apologetically, "I really couldn't do it. My antlers are too pointed… and when it comes to Lily, I get…"

_Crazy. _Sirius thought.

"Crazy," the two human boys said, two which all James could do was smile, and shrug. He took out the Invisibility Cloak from one of the pockets of his jeans, and unfolded it. He looked down at Sirius, "All you have to do is lure her away from the doors. 3 minutes, max, and then we're through. I'll even write your transfiguration essay for you."

_Yeah, Yeah, you better. When I'm done with this… _Siruis grumbled to mhimself, as he turned away from the eaves of the Forest and ambled over to the shape in the distance also known as Lily Evans, who was now done with her stretches and, and running this way. Eeep. He supposed she planned on running from the Castle to the Forest and back again. He watched her running for a bit, and turned around to warn his friends, but they'd disappeared.

_Ah, good old cloak. Anyway, back to action! _Before he could take another step, a great big flea bit into the back of his neck, and he squatted on the spot, trying to get it out.

It was in this state that Lily Evans came over, mid run, and first met the shaggy dog also known as Sirius Black.

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_I really didn't intend on stopping here, but what can I say, I got lazy. This one shot is now a two-shot, till further notice . __ As usual, read and review! _


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